Tip of the Day
By Kim Moser and David Storrs
Many Microsoft applications contain a "Tip of the Day" in which many of the tips are so simplistic and unhelpful that we were prompted to write these alternate tips in the same vein.
Actual Tip of the Day from Microsoft Developer Studio / Visual C++ 4.2, a development environment for programmers.
Did you know...
- When you press a key on the keyboard, the corresponding character will be displayed on the computer screen.
- You can make the mouse pointer move by moving the mouse.
- To save your work, select "Save."
- Hitting the power switch will turn your computer off or on.
- If your computer doesn't turn on, check to make sure it's plugged in.
- For help, select "Help."
- When a window opens, you can read the words in it to find out more.
- If you're reading this, your computer is already obsolete.
- Most hard drives are not removable.
- "Sex" is not a secure password.
- To increase the sound coming out of your speakers, turn the volume knob clockwise.
- If you're having trouble reading this tip, make sure your monitor is turned on.
- Microsoft products suck.
- If you don't already have a Web browser, you can get one at http://www.microsoft.com
- You can select an icon by clicking on it.
- Microsoft products REALLY suck.
- None of these tips will help you the slightest bit.
- To open a file, select "Open."
- The cursor is that thing that's blinking.
- The computer will not respond to voice commands.
- To send an email message, select "Send."
- Throwing your computer out the window may void the warranty.
- To do something, select the correct menu item.
- If you can't find a particular menu item, keep looking.
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Copyright © 1996-1999 by Kim Moser (email)
Last modified: 2/3/2000